If you are Rejistani
If you're Rejistani
- You believe in two contrary forces in the world, but the name you give them differs depending on where you are from
- You're familiar with the all members of the rejistanian governing council, Hank~hila Sede (first head of state and government), Kansu Iknel (actor), Jdesi Syku (actress), Idine and Hekure Sala (radio speakers) and Kekeken and Nininin (famous comic)
- You know Soccer (which is very important in the nation) and field hockey
- Three to six weeks of vacation are normal
If you died tonight...
- You expect to be reincarnated, your status in the next life depends on your simu
- You think Fast Food is sold in small stands at public places
- You probably own a telephone, if not, know many public telephones in your area, you most likely own a radio and a TV. You do your laundry in a machine, even though it might not be your own. You don't kill your own food. You don't have a dirt floor. You eat at a table, sitting on chairs
- You don't consider dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be food, some insects are tasty however
- A bathroom may not have a bathtub in it but has a toilet.
- It is normal that railroads, the telephone system, internet infrastructure and public transport are run by private companies, power plants and water-related infrastructure are run by the government
- You expect telephones to work, getting a new phone is routine unless you are in the middle of nowhere. You don't have a cellphone
- The train system is excellent. A train is faster than a car - and more reliable: Trains are not assembled in a backyard by someone only known as "Syku"
- Flying domestically is for those with too much money
- You don't know any domestic political parties, in elections you vote for individuals
- The idea of a directly elected fixed-size parliament appears odd to you
- Dark and light are skin colours. Using foreign for light skin is seen as a slur against the light-skinned kireshi and ltikva, but you occasionally still will use it
- You think most problems could be solved if only people would start working more efficiently for a change
- You are not likely to sue anyone or be sued
- You know foreign languages, as well as rejistanian, which you might speak as a native language or had to learn. Your native language will contain many rejistanian loan words
- You wonder what income tax is but think sales tax of more than 20% is normal
- Education is free (at least as option)
Everybody knows that
- Shaving cream comes in cans, milk comes in bottles, mustard comes in jars if it is sold at all
- The date is YYY/MM/DD
- The decimal point is a point in mid height if you are using arabic numbers
- A thousand million is "sykansu", not billion (even though the official term is derived from that)
- You do not need to write trailing zeros since writing 2ke for 20, 2ry for 200, 2ky for 2000 is less easy to misread. That said, you freely mix the rejistanian and arabic numbers
- You expect marriages to be made out of choice or reason, but not against the consent of the couple. The marriage is confirmed by a government official, religious ceremonies are optional but common
- If a man has sex with another man, he is homosexual and you do your best not to notice - it is not illegal to be homosexual, but thinking about it is a bit like thinking about your parents having sex
- You call people by their last name followed by a 'he if showing respect and by their first name or nickname is being colloquial. If this is ambiguous, you add the regionym (place of birth)
- If your a woman, you can go to the beach topless or nude, but you probably will not if you see yourself of higher status
- a hotel room has a shared bathroom, unless it is high-class
- you watch foreign films preferably dubbed, but quite often they do not exist in your first language so you watch a dubbed rejistanian version
- Transacting business and dealing with the government works best with 'ymeti rejistaniha' (private transactions, which are not necessarily legal)
- If a politician has been cheating on his wife, you don't care much. No one is perfect, su?
- You transfer money via interbank transfer if it is not possible to do so via cash. Even things like rent is often paid in cash
- You don't own a credit card, but probably a ATM card. Stores only accept cash, they will accept many private currencies though
- You think that it is normal that a multitude of currencies exist inside of the country
- A company can fire workers for any reason with some exceptions like race, language, religion, etc
- You like your bacon crunchy
"It is a deal, su?"
- If you are plumber than average it does not improve your looks, being taller however does
- You're used to having a wide variety of choices for almost anything you buy-- if you can afford it, of course
- You use the metric system - unless you talk about distance in which you often use temporal measurements, or weights of produce in which cases you might use traditional units or about quantities of liquids in which case the sakari (about a 7th of a liter) is still used or about height in which case the jjima (these days defined as 10 centimeters) is used, but yeah, metric all the way
- Chances are high that you are working in a factory, in the tourism-sector if you live near the beach, as a code monkey or for the government if you live in Sike kali. You might be a farmer
- The people who appear on the most popular talk shows are mostly entertainers, musicians and sportsmen, politicians appear on less popular shows
- You think the VW Beetle would be a medium sized car
- You drive on the right side of the road, you generally take traffic rules as suggestions and cross the road as pedastrian rather carefully
- Policemen are armed, but normally not with guns or the like, we are a civilized country, su?
- There are areas you want to avoid, but that depends on which team won
- Inflation is lowish, and unemployment 'a bit too high'
- You care about what ethnic group someone comes from, the family is less important
- Opera and western ballet are rather elite entertainments. It's likely you don't see that many plays, either. You do see soccer matches and traditional dances live however
- Christmas is a marketing ploy, period! You do not care about it (unless you are part of the christian minority)
- Televangelists seems like a strange concept to you, there are broadcasts of ceremonies, but they are a quaint thing the elderly watch
- Lawyers seem like a strange concept to you as well. Law is either 'arranged' or obvious.
Space and Time
- If you have an appointment, and come five minutes too late, no one expects you. Everyone knows that appointments have quite a delta t
- If you're talking to someone, you get uncomfortable if they want any kind of body contact like shaking hands, but on the other hand, foreigners will think you approach too close.
- Bargaining is a game at every expensive buy
- It is common that people who live near each other visit each other, also without invitation
- When you negotiate, you are polite. This sometimes means not stating clearly what you mean, but you are okay with that.
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